Monday, December 7, 2009

Is Your Battery Charged?

Good afternoon everyone. My Monday started off pretty interesting. Ugh. I am not sure if I mentioned this before but, I am not a morning person. I will sleep until the last possible second every single time. I have always been this way & I don't care to learn anything different. Well, last night when we were going to sleep Brandon asked me to check his alarm. I am pretty sure that every single alarm clock in the world displays the little teeny light in the corner to show that the alarm is on. I checked the time & that was right so I went on my way. Brandon then called me back to be sure that it was set on gentle because the loud buzz scares him. (& the whole neighborhood) I looked at the alarm a second time & everything was good. I am sure that you all have figured out by now that the alarm didn't go off! Mine went off at 7:25 & we leave at 7:45 to go to school that starts at 8am. (we are 5 minutes away) Brandon likes to get up at 6:45 so he can play in the morning. I am not sure that he is really my son. Who wants to get up to play at 6:45am? LOL

Needless to say, I found him sleeping. I "gently" woke him up & then went to wake up Allyson. I told them to take their time & I would just sign them in late. I didn't want them to be all grouchy. As the words came out of my mouth I realized that Allyson had a field trip today & we had to rush. They would be leaving the school around 8:10. The kids are running around & I hear Brandon tell Allyson that he is sorry that the alarm didn't go off. My heart broke. I went in their bathroom to confess that it was my fault. I examined the alarm clock only to find out the the "alarm on" button was a battery low button. Of course our battery is low because, WE HAVE IT PLUGGED INTO THE WALL! There are no batteries in there at all. Double Ugh!

We all worked together as a team & actually are ready to walk out the door at 7:46. Yay! It is a freezing 47 degrees & we can't wait to get the seat warmers on. I go to start the car &............ NOTHING! Our battery is dead again for the second time in 8 days. Triple Ugh! What is going on? Why me?! I have to think fast because we still have that field trip to get to. I am stressing all over again typing this out. LOL Adam had clients so he wouldn't be able to come home to help so I called Mike. (the kid's dad) He jumped out of bed, got dressed, & drove the 10 minutes to our house. Allyson got to school in the nick of time! I decided that I would leave my unworthy car abandoned in our driveway & I would go back to bed. Since the kids won't be back home until Wednesday afternoon I just might teach my car a lesson & leave it sit out there.

I hope that you all had an extremely fun last few days. (wink, wink) When you all told your husbands about the 5-5-5 challenge did you get this response.....

Seriously, how has it been going? Is anyone noticing a change already? I know that day 13 of the Love & Respect challenge wasn't that long ago so I hope that none of you sent your husbands to the emergency room in complete shock. I hope that you all are finding the strength to complete or even get started on the challenge. Is your battery charged? Have you gone through all of the excuses to find that none of them are good enough to let you off the hook? If you are still tricking yourself, email me & I will set you straight. :)

I hate to admit it, but it finally happened. Adam & I were frustrated with each other this weekend. We didn't have a fight, there was no crazy cycle, & we didn't argue at all. We were just frustrated. At least we have learned something in going through the Love & Respect series. So what happened?

I made the announcement the other day that Adam got this great new promotion at work, O2 Fitness. He has been super excited about it & has been working constantly. He wants to make a great impression & I completely understand that. However, Adam has been a little crabby grumpy this week. He isn't really sure why, but he just was. Maybe it was the extra work, stress, sleep deprivation, who knows. To me it seemed as though he was quick to temper & that was ruining my happy family time. It seemed that at the moments that we were all "together", the kids were in trouble or I was silent because I was trying to be respectful.

Discipline has always been one of our issues. I am the sweet mommy that likes to let everything go, unless the kids are going to hurt someone, hurt themselves, or do something really terrible. The little stuff (to me) like picking up socks, shoes, & general straightening I usually dismiss. I also try not to get into too many little arguments with the kids because usually they are laughing two seconds later. I will only jump in if I felt like they were being completely unfair & rude to each other. Adam on the other hand wants to teach them life's proper lessons as often as possible. To me, this sometimes feels like he is picking on the kids. So we butt heads & disagree.

Now I don't want to make Adam sound horrible because he is the best dad/stepdad in the world. We just have different styles as I am sure that 99% of households have. Mommies are protectors & they don't want to see their babies crying or sad. I am no different. Since learning about Love & Respect, I have been working on how I handle these situations. Instead of discussing them in front of the kids or questioning Adam, I remained silent. We were always in a place where I couldn't really pull Adam to the side. Plus, I have figured out that questioning Adam while he is upset doesn't make him feel anymore respected either. I pulled myself out of the situation & tried to cool off myself. At one point I found that I was enjoying being angry. I hadn't been upset in a while & it felt good. Starting the crazy cycle may have made me happier at that moment. A good fight hits the spot sometimes, right? No! That isn't a healthy way to think. I knew that. Shoot, I blog about it daily. But, I wasn't ready to "make up".

So what happens? I go into the bedroom to get some clothes & Adam is sitting on the bed. He tells me that he loves me. Darn him! I am trying so very hard to stay mad at him. Why does he have to pull some move like that? I tell him that I love him (in a not very loving, meaningful way) & I leave the room. I am even more angry for a second. Just then, it all goes away. I am finding it impossible to remain upset. I go into the bedroom & tell Adam that I love him, with a little more honesty this time. We got through the rest of our night & talked when the kids went to bed. Adam apologizes for his grumpy behavior & I apologize for being silent & trying to avoid him. We have a fantastic conversation with plans to "reconnect" this evening. Ooh laa laa. I want to note that Adam's behavior was nothing personal towards me or to the kids. Even though I, (the pink female) was taking it that way.

I am sharing this story with all of you because it proved to me a little more about how the Love & Respect series works. Many of you have written asking me why you should do all the changing. This is why. Because when just one person is being nice & doing all of the right things, it is MUCH harder for the other spouse to remain mad, a jerk, silent, unfair, mean, or any other negative feeling. It is hard to be angry at someone who is loving & respectful. I was physically trying my hardest to remain irritated with Adam & I couldn't. Can you imagine what 14 days or 30 days of being nice to someone can do for a relationship? If I haven't convinced you yet, stayed tuned because I am not giving up on you! I will show example after example until I find one that tugs at your heartstrings.

I want to thank you all for voting in the Top Mommy Blogs. We are still number one & I know that we reached at least one new person because of it. She was inspired by the 5-5-5 challenge & she is so thankful that she found us. She said that she never reads other blogs so it must have been God that led her here. She had an amazing story that I may share later. I need to ask her permission first. I really think that what she wrote to me will stop some of the unnecessary excuses that you all are making as to why you can't start this challenge.

Day Five -

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this 30 Day Encouragement Challenge is by using the word "edify", which means, "to build up". Negative comments only discourage & tear down. Positive comments encourage & build. 

Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members. 

Do you praise your husband to his relatives, & yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, & support him - in spite of whatever flaws & weaknesses he may have. 

Day Five Prayer - 

Pray that your husband will be faithful to your wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty & commitment to you, & as a picture of Christ's love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen 2:24)

Aimee Freeman


Jessica Jones, ATL Mom of 3 said...

I love the topic of your blog...I honestly dont have time right now to read everything but I wanted you ton know that I am here and added you to my reader so I can catch up! I am looking forward to it...oh and congrats on the #1 blog even if it was only for a couple of minutes : )

Jessica Jones

Annette said...

Aimee, I have followed Kaleighs story for a long time now and have been keeping up. You and your family have been through some trying times and my heart goes out to you all. Now I love popping over and reading this blog. You crack me up but you also hit home. Keep up the good work.


Ashley B. said...

Hey Aimee!
Last night I went to Bible Study with a group of ladies who are very encouraging and special women to me...As I was sitting there I asked them if they had checked the blogs posting for friday and they all smile largely....One of the ladies wanted me to pass along to you how helpful this blog has been although, she is concerned that her hubby is confused. Another lady also said she had passed the blog on to her sis-in-law and that it had already helped their marriage which was on the brink of ending...As for myself, I read todays post and thank goodness it was there for me to read because Mrs. Pinky was going to have a fit and reading kept me focused...I kept remembering that I was there to build him up and not bring him down!!!! Ash


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