Tuesday, December 1, 2009

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

Hello Ladies. I apologize for not posting yesterday. I had come down with a cold over the holiday & I think yesterday was the worst day of all. The weird thing is that today it is completely gone. I won't question it though, I am just thankful. I could hardly breathe, my eye sockets hurt, my throat hurt, my body was weak, & I was so tired. Today, I feel like a brand new person! Praise God!

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. We drove to Charlotte on Wednesday afternoon to spend the holiday with both of our families. We ate at 12:30pm & then an almost identical meal at 7pm. Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite meal of the year, except for the turkey part. I can really live without it. I feel that ham should be the main protein. How does Happy Pig Day sound? Well, ok....maybe not. I would say that stuffing is one of my favorite foods. You can often find me eating a box of Stove Top for dinner. (Yes, I know it isn't the most healthy choice) Thanksgiving is filled with all of my other favorite carbs as well. Like, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, & then there is the butter, butter, & more butter. You can't forget the green bean casserole & finishing things off with a HUGE piece of pumpkin pie with LOTS of cool whip. Wow, I am getting hungry all over again.

We have been having Thanksgiving & Christmas at our house for years so it was different to be a guest instead of a host. I didn't get all frazzled, sweaty, & worn out. It was great! The kids got to play with their cousins on both sides which is our favorite thing about getting together. We even slept over one night so that we could all be together for longer. It broke our hearts to think about separating the kids when they only see each other a couple of times a year. It was cramped, but they didn't even notice. Just being together was what made it so special.

Here are two pictures of my nieces, Kaitlyn & Piper.

Unfortunately our trip this time was not just for fun & relaxation. We also had to move our final belongings out of our house there. That meant a lot of packing, boxes, & another HUGE moving truck. Adam & I were missing Kayleigh pretty bad over the holiday & it didn't make things any easier moving all of her things. There were a few "moments" to say the least. How did we get it all done? I am not sure. We had to leave by 12pm on Saturday to get to the storage place by 4pm here. At 12:04 we got in the car & it wouldn't start! Can you believe it? I had been rushing the guys for two hours, we got in the car 4 minutes late & then it didn't start. We would never make it now. All of that hustling for nothing. We ended up getting a jump & we were on the road at 12:29. Thank you Brewster family! We had very organized potty breaks, gas fill ups, & food stops & we got to the storage place at 4pm exactly. Whew. We are finally moved completely & we couldn't be more excited. While we had fun this weekend, we realized how much we really do love Wrightsville Beach & our new life here. We were so thankful to be back home, together. There truly is no place like home!

What are some of your favorite Thanksgiving traditions, foods, or activities? Please share with us. If you love it, we might too. Don't keep it a secret!

So, today is December 1st & it seems like a perfect time to start our new 30 day husband encouragement challenge. Before I get started though I want to remind you all of a few things. We are doing these challenges to better ourselves & to better our marriages. We can't control ourselves most of the time so we shouldn't be trying to control our husbands too. I found a quote somewhere that really stuck with me. I am not sure if I already posted it, but it is good enough to post twice anyway.

"The person who controls others may be powerful, but the person who has mastered himself is more powerful."

MANY of you have written to me over the past month telling me that you don't know why you should be the first one to make a change, that you are doing all of these challenges & he is doing nothing, that your heart isn't in it anymore, that your situation is so different from everyone else's, etc. etc. Honestly, none of those things really matter. God has commanded you to make your marriage work. He doesn't say make it work if your husband does or if he is willing. Often times in marriage, there is only one person working at a time. But that is what keeps you together. The stronger person at that particular moment is the one giving the other, less interested partner, the encouragement to keep going too. If you husband wants out of your marriage & you give up trying on your end, you are just proving that there is nothing to work for. When things get tough you need to fight harder than ever. If you don't, who will?

Several of you have been worried about pride, I get that. But let me ask you this......is there pride in divorce? Is there pride in having your kids part time? Is there pride in being a single parent with ever more added stress & responsibility? No, there isn't. But, there IS pride in saving your marriage. There IS pride in sharing your testimony with another couple that you meet or already know that is just like you or who you were. You have the power RIGHT NOW, TODAY to change not only your future, your children's future, your husband's future, your extended families future, your friend's & co-workers futures, & even the future of a complete stranger.

There are 95% of you that feel that this blog has made a positive impact on your marriage. I am pretty sure that I have never physically met most of you. What would have happened if I gave up on my marriage when Adam wanted out? What would have happened if I turned my back on what God wanted me to do as a wife? Where would those 95% of you be today? Make a decision today, not tomorrow, not next week. Make a decision today that YOU are going to start working on repairing or strengthening your marriage. Think about where your marriage can be by Christmas with just a few small, sweet gestures each day. No more excuses, no more convincing yourself that you are too busy, you have too many kids, you go to school, you have different work schedules, etc. etc. You have the time to read this blog, you have the time to take 5 minutes to do a task that can change your whole life. Please trust me.

Day One - 

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31: 11-12

* For the entire 30 days you can't say anything negative about your husband...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband. 

* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband....to your husband...and to someone else about your husband. 

To help get you started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, & appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, & that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner. 

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget. A big "I love you" & "I'm so glad that I am your wife!"

I want to go ahead & take my opportunity to say something amazing about my dear, sweet, awesome, husband. Adam has been training now at O2 Fitness for exactly 4 months today. Yesterday, Adam was offered a major promotion to be the Personal Training Director! How wonderful is that? He has been a personal training director before (when we met) for Bally Total Fitness & he excelled in that position. We are both very excited about this opportunity & I am so proud of Adam for earning this promotion so quickly. He must be making a bold statement at work. I have met his clients & they speak so highly of him which warms my heart more than I can express. There is one client in particular that has been able to stop taking all of his medications because of the work that he has done with Adam's help. Praise God! This new opportunity will also allow me more time to focus on helping women in need, which is not only my passion, but it is extremely important to Adam that I continue on this path. I love you baby!

Each day there will also be a prayer for our husbands. I have found this to be VERY helpful, as I am not the best prayer in the world. I need all of the help that I can get learning the right things to say. We need to bless our husbands by praying FOR them. The Apostle Paul instructed all Christians to pray for one another. (Ephesians 6:18) This includes wives' responsibility & privilege to pray for their husbands. Earnest prayer for your husband is good for him, for you, & for the spiritual health of your home. Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character & his leadership in your relationship. Trust God through prayer as you daily surrender your husband & marriage to the Lord's wise, loving care.

Day 1 - 

Pray that your husband will grow spiritually & consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines - Bible reading & study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Proverbs 4:23)

I will be praying along with you & for you that tonight's task will come easy to you & that you will find strength to complete it with joy. You are all my sisters & I care for each of you!

Aimee Freeman


dawn said...

thank you for this challenge! this is a great one ~ can't wait to hear about the changes in so many people's marriages right around the new year!! woohoo!

so you skipped town before sunday, wish i could have seen you at elevation! hopefully another time!!!

continue to feel better!!!

have an amazing week aimee!!

teacheroftwos said...

Yeah! Thank you for all you and Adam do! I am so excited to start this challenge. PS: CONGRATS TO ADAM!

Kayla said...

Is there going to be a post where you talk about your childrens father? And your relationship with him? If you dont feel confortable talking about this i completly understand!

Aimee Freeman said...

Hey Kayla. Is there something that you would specifically like to know?


TJsMommy said...

WooHoo!!! 30 day challenge --- here i come!!!!!

Congrats to Adam! And I'm glad you are feeling better, Aimee!

mommyof3 said...

Hi Aimee! I was a follower of Kayleigh's blog for the last few months she hung in there. Then I saw that you were doing this blog and I've been following it too. By the way, I just wanted to tell you guys to hang in there - I can imagine the holidays must be tough.

I will say that your blog has helped me tremendously. I'm not in a situation where we are on the verge of splitting up or anything of that nature. BUT - we've been married for 11 years, have three kids, both work, and sometimes it just seems like we're going through the motions sometimes. Not really connecting to each other. I'm a few years older than my husband so I've always been the primary breadwinner in our house also. My husband has been a great success in his own right - he has two degrees and has worked hard since we met.
Yet we do have our differences that seem to drive us apart more frequently than I would like. We come from two different backgrounds. He grew up in a big, traditional hispanic catholic family where the mothers more or less catered to the families every need. And while I now recognize that is a very loving thing - I did not grow up that way. I grew up in a very female dominated family where my mom controlled almost every decision. This has been a source of tension between us all 11 years we have been together.

After reading your blog and doing some of the nice things for my husband, it has helped MY attitude towards my marriage and family more than you can realize. Instead of feeling resentful and depressed about carrying more responsibilities than my husband, I am starting to realize that God has given me the capabilties to do all that I do and that maybe this is part of my purpose in life - to make my husband and kids happy and support our family. It's a little mundane to say - but I enjoy doing little household chores more when I look at it that way. I know this is long, but I just wanted to say thank you for your inspirational ideas. You are definitely making a difference.

Ashley B. said...

Just got off the phone with a dear friend whom I sent the link to this morning and she is going to start the challenge...It is amazing...
Thank you! Thank you!

Kayla said...

Not exactly was just wondering how long you were married and how old were you when you married him? I dont want to seem nosey i was just curious. What made you want to fix your marriage with Adam but not your childrens father. Again I completly understand if you dont want to answer. Thanks,

Jonie said...

Aimee - I followed Kayleigh's story from very early on and I just want to say what a source of inspiration you are for me. I wake up everyday and thank God for my little girl because of your strength to share Kayleigh's story. Thank you so much for starting this blog. I have so much I need to work on in my marriage and this is a great source to make myself and my marriage better. Thank you so much for all you do.

Danielle said...

I am a little late in the game, but I am going to do this, and I am SO eager. Thank you, thank you, thank you.



Template and Design: By His Design