Friday, January 29, 2010

The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach - Day Three

I am so excited to see that some of you have started blogs just to follow your new journey! Praise God! I am so proud of you all for wanting to become better wives, not just for your husbands, but for the Lord as well. I have read all of the blogs from the Mcklinky each day. Seeing God working in your marriages drives me to keep writing & to be better in my marriage as well. Thank you all for taking this journey with me once again.

I do want to mention that you each need to post your link to your blog every single day on the MckLinky. That way, readers don't have to scroll back through previous days to see who has links & who is keeping up. Hopefully by the end of the 14 days we will have a HUGE list to follow along with.

I hope that you all had much success with day two & I can't wait to read about all of your stories. I am super excited about tonight's challenge. It has been a long week & it is the end of the month. Adam worked his tail off & he is pooped. Completing tonight's challenge will be my pleasure.

We have a bunch of new readers & I haven't posted this in a while so here are a few ways that you can interact with us....

Facebook - Aimee Freeman & Women's Marriage Ministry Fans
Twitter - Aimee Freeman (I post several times a day about random things that I don't post here - also posts to FB)
RSS Feeds - Women's Marriage Ministry (Read the blog via email so you don't even have to go online.)
The Blog Frog - Women's Marriage Ministry (Our own support group with a variety of topics)
Grab a Button - Post THIS CODE on your blog to add our Women's Marriage Ministry Button.

Day Three - REPOST

I haven't mentioned this before but I would like for you to keep the fact that you are doing this challenge a secret from your husband. We want him to see that you are changing & not just doing a lesson as a one time thing. We don't want him to feel like an experiment. I am not one to keep secrets from Adam & it is impossible for me to lie, which I am thankful for. If he asked me what color socks I had on & I realized later that I had a different color on, I would tell him. :)This is a good secret, like buying a present for someone. You hide it until the right time. I would never suggest keeping any other kind of secret.

Last night I revealed the book series that I am working from & tonight I want to explain a little the basis of what Dr. Eggerich's is teaching. If I asked you what the most important thing in the world is to you I would expect that most of you would say....

As a woman that is our greatest need. We need love like we need air to breathe. There was a comment posted today from Coach's Wife. She hit the nail on the head & Dr. Eggerich's teaches this. As women we want to keep our relationships up to date. Meaning that we feel like we need to talk about our problems in our marriage daily. Men look at it this way; If we are talking daily about our marriage problems, we have a major problem. Worse, if there is an argument, most of us run around the house chasing them to "clear things up". We are working out of love, but it doesn't come across that way because it seems nagging which makes us feel they are avoiding us & being even more unloving to us. Would you believe that when our husbands turn away from us, they are trying to do the honorable thing? Men do not like confrontation. When we chase after them to get them to "talk" they are worried that they will say something that will upset us & even make the argument worse. They know that they get angry & they honestly just want to calm down to save our feelings. We, as wives take this as they don't care & are being rude to us. Am I right ladies?

This was a major issue in our marriage. It is almost as if Dr. Eggerichs was using Adam & I as the example. Adam would always tell me that he needed to get away but I was very hurt by that. I didn't want to be fighting so I would literally follow him throughout the entire house trying to make things right. This would only anger him more because he felt like I was trying to control him. I couldn't understand that. Now I do. He isn't wrong for acting the way that he does & I am not wrong for wanting to fix things. This is how God wired us. Not wrong, just different. Once we started to understand that, we have been able to make the much needed adjustments.

So, if love is the most important thing to us as women....what do you think it the most important thing to our husbands? How many of you said love? I would have said the same thing 3 months ago. Of course men want us to love them but that is not what they NEED. What a man needs just like he needs air to breathe is....

God actually has commanded us to respect our husbands. In Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband". God has wired us to love automatically. This is why he commands us to respect our husbands. Not doing this is a clear disobedience of His word. That was huge to me & it is now one of my favorite scriptures. I believe that the application of this verse can change marriages significantly. In turn, God commands our husbands to love us because he did not wire him to do it automatically.

God created our husbands with the need to take care of his family and to be the leader. If you ask most men if they would die for their families, they would say yes. They are our protectors. If you ask a man if he wants his co-workers to like him or to respect him, he will say respect. Men have this unspoken rule to respect other men. If they spoke to each other the way that we speak often speak to them, there would be a lot of trouble in the world. That is why their spirit is so damaged when we disrespect them. They can't imagine why we would speak to them in a way that other men wouldn't even speak to them. We are supposed to hold our husbands in the highest position in our homes. God commands us to respect our husbands unconditionally. Are you disobeying God? I was.

Entertain this thought for a second. If I asked you right now if you love your husband, what would you say? If I asked you if you respected him, what would you say? Unconditionally means that your husband does NOT have to earn your respect. You are to give it to him without question. How would you feel if you asked your husband if he loved you & he said not today. You don't deserve it. I personally would be devastated.
While Adam & I were separated, I emailed him at least 10 times letting him know how much I loved him. He didn't respond to a single one of those emails. He never doubted that from me. That was not our problem. He felt that I had disrespected him, time & time again. He was right. Once Lisa brought this to my attention, I sent him a short email apologizing for being disrespectful to him which she wrote for me. She ordered me to send that email the way that it was. Do not add additional words or feelings. This was unnatural & completely uncomfortable for me. I trusted her as I had no other options at that point. Would you believe that he emailed me back? It was at that moment that his feelings for me started to change. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't over yet, but the door was cracked just enough for Adam to begin seeing my changes & believing that they were not temporary & they were real.

In my efforts to show you how "normal" & "real" we are, I want to let you know that we fell victim to the crazy cycle just last week. Adam & I used to fight or at least pick at each other several times a week. We have been back together for 2 1/2 months & we have had one fight. Adam came home from work & he was unusually grouchy. I felt like he picked on the kids, he picked on me, he made a comment that made me feel like I was not keeping up with the house, etc. I had made a nice dinner that night & I hate when I go out of my way to do something & an argument or negativity takes away from my nice thing. So, my feelings got hurt. We started to argue. Adam asked me to go away & I did. I was proud of myself for taking my new knowledge & actually applying it. I played with the kids, put them to bed, & had time to myself before bed time. All the while I was getting more & more hurt & angry that Adam wasn't moving forward to speak to me. We have agreed since our separation that we would not go to bed angry & it was getting near that time. I went to bed & laid there as long as I could so that he had every opportunity to make a move. It never happened. I tried to once again practice what I had learned & I went to him. Dr. Eggerichs says that, "The person who feels that they are the most mature is the one that should move forward first." Well, of course I thought this was me so I did it. I knew that I was about to walk into a danger zone because Adam still seemed very angry. I tried talking to him in a way that I thought was right. When I saw that it wasn't working, I did everything that I shouldn't have. I told him how HE should be acting & basically disrespected him by telling him that he wasn't living up to his end of the bargain. I told him I would tell our counselor. He immediately jumped up & told me that I haven't changed at all. Obviously, this is not true & he will admit that today. He was angry & was reacting from his feelings just as I was. We got on what is called, "The Crazy Cycle." Without love, a woman reacts without respect, but without respect, a man will react without love. So who again is the one that will break the cycle? The one who feels that they are the most mature!

I left the room & emailed my counselor/accountability partner. He revealed to me what I had done wrong & how to repair it. I can see how clearly what I could have done differently. Again, it is very unnatural, so you have to train yourself to be this way. What I should have done as a good wife would have been to find out what was troubling my husband. Why did he come home so grouchy when he hadn't been lately? Why was he "picking" on us for silly reasons? Why was he quick to temper & take things personally? My partner suggested that I go into the other room & offer Adam a snack & a back rub. Of course, it is much easier to respond back in a negative way because of hurt feelings. The feelings follow choices lesson is one that will be used over & over. Unfortunately, I had gone to bed before I received his advice, so I wasn't able to practice it. However, I wanted to know how Adam would have received that gesture, so I asked him. As angry as he was, he told me that would have helped tremendously & would have made him feel like I cared about what was bothering him. It turns out that he was just in a crabby mood for no reason at all. Nothing happened. We just get in a funk sometimes. He felt as though we were not interested in him that night or what he wanted to say. Perhaps meeting him at the door would have avoided this entire situation. ??

Learning this information from this book series will not prevent you from getting involved in the crazy cycle. In fact, Dr. Eggerichs admits that he & Sarah still get on the cycle too. Training yourself to think differently will just teach you how to get on the cycle less & how to get off sooner.

Lesson #3 - Tonight make his favorite meal or dessert. (Or both!) Proverbs 31:15 says, "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls".
You are making deposits into your marriage. During this two week period be prepared for your husband to do something unloving. You have greeted him, hugged him, & made his favorite meal, but later he yells at you for moving his keys. Ignore it. Don't throw your hands up saying, "Respecting you doesn't work. You are as unloving as ever." You are fasting from complaining for two weeks. Lower your expectations. You can't expect him to change in every area of his life because you did three nice things. Do this for God & not for your husband. God commands you to do this.

I invite you to take this one step further. As I sit here & type this I realize that I am guilty of something that I could do a little better. I am sitting in sweatpants, a tee shirt, no makeup, & messy hair. We would never have been seen this when we were dating. Thank God our husbands still think that we are beautiful when we are a mess. However, from time to time we should put a little extra effort into looking our best for him. I am going to be doing this challenge & all of the others along with you because I need to work on my marriage at the same time. I need to continue to strive to be the very best wife that I can be. I invite you to not only make his favorite meal or dessert but to also take a shower, put on a little makeup, set the table nice, & show him that you have gone out of your way to make him feel special.

"Lord, thank you so much for working in so many marriages so quickly. These stories are an inspiration to all of us. As we see you working in these families we are encouraged to try harder in our own lives. Thank you for all of the women that are following this blog. We are building an unbelievable support system for each other. Lord, please give each of these women the strength to push through each lesson. Give them a few extra minutes out of their day to be able to comment to all of us on their experiences. Lord, please allow us all to make a beautiful dinner for our well deserving husbands & please prevent any major kitchen nightmares. We ask that you please help us to wrap our brains around the principles of love & respect so that we can begin to apply them. Our culture has not always shown us that this is the true way to live. Lord, we want to honor Your word & not be disobedient to You. Please forgive us for not following Your commands in the past. Now that we are aware of what You want from us, we will be better. Thank you Lord for giving us this chance. Amen."
Aimee Freeman

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Love & Respect Challenge - Day Two

I have to say that last night's challenge was pretty easy for me. I learned the importance of meeting Adam at the door several months ago, before we did the Love & Respect 14 Day Challenge the first time. He loves it. Unfortunately, I have learned that being greeted at the door is important to me too & that doesn't always happen. Sometimes I start to feel a little hurt, as if I am not as important as he is, but then I remember that I can only control myself & I am changing for him. I do have one thing on my side that Adam doesn't have as well. He has a REALLY loud Jeep. I can hear him coming a few streets away so that allows me to dry my hands, give a quick mix to my food, look in the mirror, etc. We always text each other when we are on our way but this gives me a little extra warning notice.

I don't think that I have missed a single day at the door since I started. To me, there are no excuses why this should be skipped. It takes 30 seconds & makes a much greater impact. I prepare for Adam coming in just like I prepare to make dinner or anything else. If I have to pee, I hold it. I have had to wait a lot longer than 30 seconds before. LOL I was on the phone the other day when Adam got here which has NEVER happened, & I asked my friend to hold on so I could greet Adam. It wasn't perfect, but I still showed him that no matter what I was doing, I was happy to see him & he was important.

I was happy to see several MckLinkys get posted. I did come across a blog or two that mentioned the challenge but didn't post a MckLinky. Be sure to do that. Many of our readers are checking out the listed blogs & they want to hear what is working for you. I throughly enjoyed reading all of your posts. There will be a MckLinky posted for today & each remaining day of this challenge. Enjoy!

Day Two Challenge - REPOST

One of my goals for this blog is to get you all involved & make it interactive. You might say that it can be the largest small group in the world. I am only one person & there are thousands of you. I really need the help of each of you to reach the masses. So now that most of you have completed the day one challenge, please send in a comment about how your husband received you. The more of us that share, the more that we will inspire other wives to make a change in their marriages & families. Please take a moment to do this.

I understand that last night's challenge may have been very easy for some of you & I am proud of you for doing it, even though it may not have felt challenging. However, I want you to keep in mind the husband & wife who are hardly even speaking. The marriage that is completely broken & on it's last leg. For those wives to be able to meet their husbands at the door, that is HUGE. When Adam was still in our home but preparing to move out, meeting him at the door would have felt extremely uncomfortable because I was too worried about how he felt about me and if he even wanted me to do such a kind gesture.

When I spoke to Lisa on the phone that first time, she warned me that what she was about to tell me would feel very unnatural & would go against every fiber of my being. What she told me was that she felt the same exact fear of rejection or feeling uncomfortable when she heard what challenges she had to perform in the book, but it worked for her & for her marriage. Lisa asked me if I could trust her & follow what she was teaching me. Since I had tried every thing else unsuccessfully & because it worked for her marriage, I happily agreed.

I vividly remember the day that I listened to the CD that came with my books. The kids were outside playing & I got on the computer because I couldn't wait until they went to bed. I told you that I am not good with patience, so when I saw that there was a CD & two books, it was easy to choose which one I would use first. LOL I took a notebook & a pen with me so that I could take notes. I remember thinking about how easy these principles seemed to me. Even though Adam was already gone, 3 1/2 hours away, & finished with our relationship, I felt that I had a great shot at turning things around. I was pumped up! I wanted to hear more so I immediately started reading the first book.

I know that you all are very anxious to find out what this book series is & how you can get it. I suppose that I will not keep you in suspense any longer. :) The series is titled, "Motivating Your Man God's Way." It is written by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs.

You can visit the main website at Love & Respect to purchase the series. You can find the link on my main page in the Favorite Links section. There are other books on the website that we will be digging into later. The two books & the CD are sold as a set for just $24! I know that money is tight for many of us right now, but I promise you that this will be the best $24 that you will ever spend, especially if you think about how much a marriage counselor or getting a divorce will cost. This series is indisputably priceless. If you are as impatient as I am & you feel that you don't have time on your side, I would also recommend getting the 5 session conference download. It is $40 instead of $50 if you buy each session separately. This is something that you don't have to wait on in the mail. It is accessible immediately. The good news is that the shipment came much faster than I expected. I think I had them in 5-6 days.

I listened to the CD titled, "The Crazy Cycle" on my own first. Once I put the principles into practice & Adam agreed to work on our marriage as well, we listened to it again together. The information got Adam just as pumped up as it did for me. He wanted to hear more right then & there. We jumped in full force & started listening to the downloads. They are each a little over an hour, so we do it together as our quality time. We don't need to watch TV or play Bejeweled every single night. (LOL)

Look at it this way, you went to school for many years and worked very hard at getting an education to become a more intelligent person and for a better financial future. Or, you work very hard every single day at your job to increase your family's financial security, then why can't you spend an hour or two every day or every other day to strengthen the relationship with the one you plan to live with for the rest of your life. That means, after retirement from your job and when you don't need your education to go play BINGO down at the Moose Lodge.

One of the biggest things Adam would say during our separation is that we have a lot of work to do. He would say that he had a lot of work, I had a lot of work & we have a lot of work together as a couple. This made a happy & satisfying life seem so far away. He felt that it was "time" that was important & that you couldn't be "fixed" overnight. Adam's opinion has changed completely. These principles are so basic & so simple to follow that it really doesn't matter if you have been married for one year or for thirty. It doesn't matter how much hurt & pain are buried in your core. You CAN change, he CAN change, & your marriage can be more than you EVER dreamed possible. Can you trust me on this?

Starting tomorrow night, I will get more into the teachings of the book series. Tonight there will be a lesson for you to do on your husband just as there was last night. However, I have a few additional things that I would like you to do for homework.

1. When you are finished reading this post tonight, please click on the comment section & give us your testimony from last night. It may help motivate another wife to accept the challenge & will push another family onto the road of being repaired.

2. Find an accountability partner. We all know someone that could use this information. Give them the best gift that you could ever give them. Call them up or email them, whichever you prefer. Get them involved & agree to do this together. Support each other. As I mentioned earlier, this information goes against everything that you were ever taught. You will need at least one person who will agree to trust with you & keep you motivated. I know that my friends (that weren't following along with the books or the CD) thought I was crazy at times because of the challenges that I accepted in order to fix my marriage while maintaining hope during our separation. They are so thankful now that I stuck with it & I am happier than I have ever been.

3. This 14 day period is not a time for you to get your husband to open up & discuss past issues. We are actually trying to avoid that. You want to show him that you are changing. Remember, he may not be used to your new behavior & he may actually say something negative. You want to avoid confrontation at all cost. I told you this would be unnatural. In addition to the daily lesson, try not complaining to him about anything. If you need to complain, call your accountability partner. She may want to vent too. :)

Lesson #2 - Greet your husband & give him a hug. Let him know again that you missed him or were thinking about him today. Again, this is secondary to what you are really feeling. Just do it. If he says something like, "Wow, two days in a row. Do you want money or something"? Ignore it. He is saying this to you because he is noticing your actions & they feel good to him. What may feel like sarcasm to you is playful bantering to him. After you hug him, leave the room. Don't allow for a conversation about your new behavior. This isn't a game, we are just trying to avoid getting into a discussion of unresolved issues that you are not equipped to handle just yet.

Aimee Freeman

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Devil Made Me Do It & Challenge Day One

I am so sorry that I have been MIA for the last several days. To be perfectly honest, the devil has been working very hard on me & on my family the last few weeks. I could not bring myself to write because I feared that if I tried to do anymore good, the devil would attack me even harder. I did not feel that I would be able to handle that. I became weak & I apologize. We are still under attack, but at least now, I am recognizing where he is hurting us & how he got in. I have been reminded by dear friends that we have the tools to fight him & with God by our side, we WILL win. Please pray for our family that we will become as strong as we were just a few short weeks ago. Please pray that we will be able to recognize what he is doing & that we will remember the truth & not fall weak to his lies. 

Thank you all for being patient with me & still visiting the site on a daily basis, even though there wasn't any new content. Your support has been amazing! By the way, there are way too many photos of "cute" devils online. He is not cute & I hate that he is portrayed that way. So, I apologize for the photo of this mean & ugly devil but it seems to fit him perfectly. 

So, I took a poll to see what you all would like to study next. It looks like the response most received was The Love Dare. However, since there were MANY of you that also voted for the 14 day Love & Respect challenge, we will start with that one, taking us up to Valentine's Day & then we will do The Love Dare. I couldn't ignore the response that we received about doing this challenge a second time. To make the 14 day challenge just as exciting the second time around, we have added a feature. Some of you may have seen it on other blogs or even used it before. It is the MckLinky.

What is MckLinky? Well, basically you will be able to post a link to your blog on my blog. Now, the rules are that in order to submit your link, you need to write a post on your blog about the challenge, our blog, your insecurities about the challenge, little extras that you are planning, or your success story with that particular challenge. Whatever you think will help other wives to know. So, since today is day 1, you would just post about what you are doing tonight, how you are planning, etc. You will also need to direct people here so that they can read the full challenge themselves. On day two, you would post your results from day 1 & how you are planning for day 2. If you have previously completed these challenges, please feel free to share those results as well. Make sense?

The point of this is to get others excited & so you aren't all hearing about only my success. We want to let wives know that this information really works & how it is working for all of you! All of the links are listed at the bottom so our readers can visit all of your blogs as well! Very cool stuff.

Day 1 - The Love & Respect Challenge - REPOST

So, what I would like to do is share my journey as a wife with the sole purpose of helping others who may be troubled in their own relationships. To start with a little bit of history on us, Adam & I started dating five years ago & we have been married for three. Our relationship was beautiful right from the start. We had the perfect love story on how we met, the most romantic first kiss, and our lives could not have been any happier. The next five years were spent with us together, every single hour, practically 99% of each day...literally.

As much as Adam & I love spending time together, looking back we feel that spending so much time together could have been one of our problem areas. Funny thing is, we would hate when people would mention it to us. We figured that they just didn't understand. Just because they couldn't handle their spouse 14-18 hours each day didn't mean that we couldn't. We didn't argue more than most couples & considering we were together so much we figured that was pretty good. We often joke that we have been married for three years but if you consider how much time we spent together compared to other couples, we have been married for twenty!

So what did we fight about? The normal. You, work, & petty things that don't even matter in the grand scheme of things. I would argue because Adam felt that just because we were in the same house, we were "together". I would argue that I wanted face to face quality time. We would talk about our issues & then we would be fine. However, sometimes I wanted to talk right that second & Adam would want to calm his anger & briefly talk later. However, we would eventually move on from our petty arguments...or so I thought.

If you asked Adam, he would tell you that I was his beautiful, the most important thing in the world to him. He would say that he couldn't live without me. I am sure that most of you felt that when you would read his posts. Our year through Kayleigh's journey was a tough one, but one that I thought we handled pretty well. But what I didn't know was that all of those petty little arguments were building up like a raging volcano, packed deep inside "Adam's earth's crust," waiting to explode.

After our princess went to Heaven in May, we had made plans to get away. Just the two of us alone so that we could reconnect from all the heartache, even though we honestly felt as if we were doing okay on the outside. We went to the beach for the weekend and within the first ten minutes of the car ride, we started to argue. By the time I got rid of my stubborn attitude, we fought again. This actually became the theme of the weekend. Adam stormed off to be alone because his anger was way out of control & I stayed in the hotel room, crying. Before the trip ended, we reached a very heated point in our arguing & Adam told me that he was tired of this & he wanted a divorce. As most fights go, we got really nasty. I spent the next 2-3 weeks hoping that Adam would calm down, but he spent them planning his exit. I was in complete disbelief.

Adam moved out of the house a few weeks after 
Kayleigh's memorial. I was completely devastated & most days, unable to function. Just my luck, it was summer & the kids were home with me Monday-Friday. Sadly, I could have spent every day in bed without any food or water. For the first two weeks or so I did a lot of begging, telling Adam over & over how much I loved him. He was trying his best to be polite, but he didn't want to hear it.

I was already going to counseling because I had started that before Kayleigh passed away. I then ordered about 13 books from the Christian bookstore on saving my marriage, divorce, you name it. I had to gather as much information as I could "to change Adam's mind." Honestly, that is how it started. I was a nut. But, it was in the name of love so that made it ok. Right?

While I was waiting on my shipment I decided to utilize what I had at home already. The first book that I went to was the Love Dare. I wasn't sure if I would be successful with this because Adam was three & a half hours away. I had to try. I took the kids outside which was an amazing feat in itself & I read. As I looked over the first lesson I found that I had a few faults. Things that I could have been better at personally. I was shocked because of course I had never been wrong in my entire existence. I read the second chapter & again, more soul searching, more honesty with myself, & more work to do to make ME a better person. My goal had shifted. I was absolutely trying to get Adam to come home, every minute of every day, but I was doing it through my own changes. I started a daily prayer journal where I would write about what I had learned for the day, how my faults affected my marriage, how I needed to make adjustments, & then I would type out a prayer. This was very therapeutic.

It was during this time that I became closer to God than I ever have. I had just lost my daughter, my home, my job was in the toilet, & now my husband had left. Thank God I still had the kids but I couldn't turn to them for help. I HAD to turn to the only one that would always be there for me. God. My days were spent crying, reading, praying, & reading some more. I felt that if I wasn't learning, I was wasting time. Time that would surely run out before my husband would fall into the arms of someone else. I did warn you that I wasn't patient. I felt like every day was a ticking clock.

As I would apply the things that I was learning from reading, my counselor, friends, etc. I would find that they weren't working. I became more & more depressed & ended up on anti-depressants. I probably should have started them following Kayleigh's passing, but I am not the type to take medicine if I don't need it. I finally learned that worry was sin. Now things would get interesting.

I had finally reached a point where I knew that I was changing. I believed that I wasn't just saying what Adam wanted to hear. I knew how I felt about him & I continued to believe in how he once felt about me. I reminded myself daily that we entered into marriage & God would never want us to get divorced. I became numb to Adam's rejection & in those times I gave it all to God. You might think that this was the hardest thing that I would do but it actually was the ONLY thing that gave me true peace. Now, I am human & I did freak out occasionally. Don't get me wrong. However, after my initial weakness I would remind myself of how God wants me to be. God wanted me to continue loving & respecting my husband even though he didn't deserve it. He wanted me to honor my commitment even if Adam wasn't. I am not one to enjoy or even tolerate rejection so I knew from the beginning that I couldn't do it without God's help. Most people think or say that God won't give you anything you can't handle, but actually that means...God won't give you anything you can't handle, without His help.

I met someone through 
Elevation Church that became an amazing friend to me & the biggest reason that I made the changes in my life that I did. She was there through countless emails & calls & pointed me in the direction of the very book that would change my marriage. She did this because it saved her marriage & the marriages of many others. It is the book that Adam & I practice from every day & what inspired me to move forward with this blog. I will discuss this book more in my next post, I Promise. Thank you Lisa Shea for everything.

There were a mix of things that happened in our lives for Adam to come home. I had reached out to everyone that was close to us that was a Christian. My last hope was 
Brent Riggs. As most of you know Brent has been a dear friend to us over the last year. I knew that Adam respected him tremendously & he is without a doubt, one of the wisest Christian that we know. Brent had tried to contact Adam unsuccessfully a few times but finally he got through. It was that phone call along with my changes, Adam's faith, & God's intervention that brought us back together again.

Adam & I have honestly never been happier than we are right now. Our separation was not the end for our marriage. It was the beginning. As hard as that time was, I am SO thankful that it happened. We always believed that Kayleigh's purpose was to help others. Now we believe that she was also sent to us to save our marriage. Kayleigh's passing was not what caused us to separate but the extra pain that came along with losing her amplified the problems that we already had. I never imagined that one little life could impact so much.

When I met Lisa & she gave me this incredibly helpful information, I knew immediately that helping to save marriages was my calling. God had opened that door for me before but I never walked through it. Whenever a friend or family member was having a marriage problem, we always jumped in full force to help. I am not the kind of friend that tells you what you want to hear. I tell you what you NEED to hear. Sadly, this is also why I don't have many true close friends. Not everyone can handle the truth. Now that my marriage is stronger than ever, Adam & I are ready to pay it forward.

I started this blog mainly for wives. I want to teach you what I have learned. The principles are so amazing & easy that you will see results almost immediately. If Adam could go from being 100% completely done with our marriage, there is hope for your marriage too. We were just discussing today how nobody ever teaches this stuff. Maybe that is why 50% of first marriages fail & 70% of second marriages fail. The things that we have learned are the behaviors of men & women. Not wrong, just different.

As I said above, I started this blog mainly for wives. However, if you are a man who reads this and is in need of help, then don't hesitate one bit to email Adam or myself because we want to help anyone and everyone. My email is down below, but Adam's email is:

Everyone says that communication is the key to every marriage, but what is more important than that is understanding each other so we can communicate properly. Once we understand each other & what the Bible teaches us, we are sure to get on the right track. If we don't make these much needed changes we will have the same outcome with our next spouse, & our next spouse. All the while our children will suffer & we will never end up truly happy anyway.

Please take this journey with us. Every marriage reaches a tough time at some point. This message is good for ALL ears because no one is perfect and we could ALL learn something to strengthen our marriages, relationships and even friendships. Even if you are single, this is a perfect way to prepare yourself for that next step. You can't afford to miss this.

So here are my hopes. I would like to see everyone start a prayer journal. I am a computer junkie so I did mine on Microsoft Word. Feel free to write, type, etc. Whatever will get you to do it. I would also like this blog to be interactive. When I post a challenge, let us all know how it worked for you. Your testimonies will encourage others. Please refrain from being negative. If you don't like what is being said, you don't have to listen and you are not bound to join in what God is doing here. The teachings & ideas are coming straight from the Bible & any negativity will be moderated and deleted so it won't find its way for other eyes to see.

Lisa would tell you that I always wanted more & more info. I didn't like being told that she would teach me that later. Sorry Lisa. In the next few weeks I am going to go into this lesson. However, I know that some of you need to get started right away & you just can't sit back & wait. Here it goes....

Lesson #1 - Tonight or tomorrow when your spouse comes home, greet them at the door. Don't yell from another room. Physically meet them at the door. Let them know that you missed them today. (even if you didn't) I have started doing this with Adam & he absolutely loves it. Honestly, so do I. I feel much more special when I feel that everyone is happy to see me. If this is not possible to do it this way due to your schedules, then be sure to make him feel like you missed him & you are happy to see him when you are face to face. 

This will be a 14 day lesson with a simple activity each day. Don't forget that we want to hear how it is working for you. Also keep in mind that your husband probably isn't used to this behavior so he may even say something inappropriate or wonder if you are up to something. Just ignore it. You are going to change your behavior. His will follow. Men are much slower normally & it will probably take a few days for this to kick in. Don't worry. It will.

I want to throw my disclaimer out here. I am in no way claiming to be a professional. What makes me qualified to do this is that I am a Christian & we are learning Biblical principles. Plus, this is what worked for us. If you are skeptical, I understand. So was I. So was Lisa. Just hang with me for the first 14 days. Learn what I have to say with an open mind. I promise you will see a change in yourself & your husband. Please, just give me that amount of time. I will make the commitment into you if you will do the same for me. If you won't do it for me, do it because your troubled situation has nothing to lose.

Please understand that more than anything, we want you to know that we are not a fairy tale family and we are not wanting to share our story to compare who has the better or worse relationship. The big picture here is to point out that if you are having big or small issues in your relationship, there was a time when you loved each other deeply and these problems didn't exist. All we want is to help you find a way back to the happiness you for so long have attempted to achieve. So whether you have been struggling for three years or struggling for ten, look at the positives and be happy that you still have a chance to make things right.

Please check yourself as a follower to the blog & feel free to forward to anyone that you know that may need a change. Help me to help the world. 

Aimee Freeman

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Our Sweet Angel

I am sitting at my desk this morning still recovering from a terrible cold. I am worn out, exhausted, sore, tired, & achy. I have no idea what to write about, but I know that I need to write about something. I began reading a few other blogs hoping that something would get my juices flowing. That didn't happen. What did happen was that I went from one blog to another & it somehow led me to Faith Massey's website that she posted for Kayleigh last May. All that got flowing was tears, lots of them. I sat here balling my eyes out, using the last of the tissues, remembering, missing, hurting, smiling, feeling, wishing, praying, hoping, & loving. 

I wanted to post this video today to share with you all. Some of you have already seen this, but many of you are new to this blog & may not yet know Kayleigh. My dear husband, Adam, wrote about the amazing journey of Kayleigh's life at Visit it when you get a chance & meet our sweet, little princess. Kayleigh touched the heart of thousands & thousands of people across the world. I hope that she will touch your heart as well. Be sure that you have your volume on. For me, I can't listen to the first song, Held by Natalie Grant, without losing it each time.

Thank you again to everyone that took the journey through Kayleigh's life on Earth with us. Each & every one of you mean so very much to us. You all hold a special place in our hearts. We look forward to all the welcome parties that we will attend in Heaven, together, as one big family. Kayleigh is going to greet every one of you a big smile, a hug & a kiss. But, if you are blessed enough to see her before we do, please tell her how much we miss her, we love her, & we can't wait to hold her in our arms again. Mommy, Daddy, Allyson, & Brandon love you so much sweetheart!

Aimee Freeman

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

What's Next?

Many of you emailed me asking me, "What's next"? Now that the 30 day challenge is over, where do we go from here? I would love to know what you all would like to see. To respond, just post a comment.

1. Repeat the Love & Respect 14 day challenge. (We will do it the 14 days leading to Valentine's Day)
2. The Love Dare
3. A daily Bible lesson relevant to marriage/family
4. 100 Ways to Love your Husband (from yesterday)
5. Other - your ideas

I am looking forward to what you all think would be the most beneficial to you.

I told you all that I would be reviewing a few websites to receive the Lemonade Award that I was blessed enough to earn. This was a tough decision for me. There are so many great blogs out there. Here are a few that I visit on a regular basis that I think should receive the next Lemonade Award.

** Rules for the Award **

* Put the Lemonade Logo on your blog or in your blog post
* Nominate at least 10 blogs with a great attitude or gratitude
* Link Nominees to your post
* Let your nominees know about their award by leaving them a comment on their blog
* Share the Love & link to the person from whom you received the award

Of course,

Which blog is your favorite? Thanks again to Carla at, "So This Is Holland?" for blessing me with this award.

MANY of you have sent in additional ways to love your husband from yesterday's post. Keep them coming in! I will re-post the final list once the ideas slow down. I can't wait to get started. There are some really good ones on there. Fun stuff!

Aimee Freeman

Monday, January 18, 2010

100 Ways To Show Your Love

Want to make your hubby feel like the "king" of your home? Rachel, of QuirkyMomma, joined us in co-authoring this post of 100 Ways to Show your Love in preparation of Valentine's Day next month, let's try to implement one of these suggestions each day. I know there are only 75 ways... pretty please help us reach our goal of 100. Leave comments with your ideas and suggestions!!! I'd love to see our list grow! There will be a little "gift" for someone who leaves a comment with an additional idea - winner will be chosen by a random number generator!

100 Ways to Show your Love

  1. Pick up a little snack for him at the store (or make him one) that he can take to work with him the next day.
  2. Cuddle while you watch a movie
  3. Warm a towel for him while he's in the shower, so a hot towel is waiting for him instead of a cold bathroom.
  4. Drop off Starbucks to him at his work.
  5. Do all the laundry in the house
  6. Thank him for taking care of you in all of the ways that he does. Spiritually, financially, mentally, friendship, etc.
  7. Sincerely thank him for the things he does for your family
  8. Write a brief love-note and stick it on his pillow or where he will find it easily
  9. Make his favorite meal for dinner
  10. Show them we are their fan by telling someone else something we like about our hubby's, once in their hearing if possible, the other time to get us in the habit of saying and thinking great things about our Hubby's
  11. Bring a plate of homemade cookies to him at work, enough to share with his co-workers
  12. Make your house a bit cleaner than normal, or spiffy it up in a special way.
  13. Hot Coco waiting for him when he gets home (assuming, it is cold out), maybe a iced drink if it's hot.
  14. Let your DH know you love them while they are at work... a phone call, email, note with lunch, etc.
  15. Get up with the kids and let him sleep in on the weekend.
  16. Put on some lipstick before he gets home!
  17. Play footsie - dinner time can often be crowd control from opposite sides of the table. If you can't play footsie, maybe sit next to each other if that is usual for you.
  18. Let him know something positive that someone said to you about your husband.
  19. Pick a 24hr period and try not to complain about anything to him during that time.
  20. Date night at home after you put the kids to bed early.
  21. Take out the trash or do "his" chore that day.
  22. Do something extra special to greet your DH when he gets home tonight. If you usually greet with a smile, add a smooching session, if you greet over the noise of the kids from the other room, meet him at the door, if you are wonder woman, add a favorite meal or something else that is different for you.
  23. make your DH/SO laugh. get a good belly laugh out of him to get rid of the stress he's been accumulating all day.
  24. Dig out, clean & wear the engagement ring. Shining Rings here we come!
  25. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
  26. Walk closer to them than normal.
  27. Hold their eyes longer than normal in conversation
  28. Pick a book that interests both of you and take turns reading to each other.
  29. Give him a flower - as girls we so often get the flowers! Give him a turn!
  30. Give him a long foot rub.
  31. Play "your song" or other sappy songs that remind you of your early days together.
  32. Take a "kissy" picture together! Our pictures are from our wedding, we need new "together" ones!
  33. Wake him up right before the alarm goes off with kisses.
  34. Serve your hubby without expecting something in return
  35. Be quick to apologize if you have done something hurtful or inconsiderate.
  36. Compliment him for getting a good deal on something, or saving money.
  37. Say your vows to each other, maybe even in front of the kids.
  38. Make a "Love Note Jar" with all the different reasons that you love them listed inside. Lindsey was able to come up with 200 reasons. Let me know if you top that!
  39. Go for a long walk together.
  40. Make an extra effort to actively listen to him. Ask leading questions to get him talking about his day.
  41. Thinks of three reasons you are proud of him, let him know!
  42. Defend his decisions and actions to others, especially family or close friends.
  43. Sit shoulder to shoulder – no need for talking, just keep him company.
  44. Do something that he likes that you wouldn’t normally do.
  45. Let him pick a movie that you wouldn’t normally care for.
  46. Play a game that he likes or is better at.
  47. Thank you husband for being a good example for your children and being the leader in your home.
  48. Ask him about his dreams & desires.
  49. Go out to his favorite restaurant.
  50. Tell him something that you have learned about yourself that you are changing to be better for him.
  51. Pick him up a small “man” gift that he has been hinting about.
  52. Backrub, foot rub, etc.
  53. Have sex with him – without him begging you or complaining about it. Initiate!
  54. Get dressed sexy for him.
  55. Say something nice about him to someone else.
  56. Fill his car with gas so he doesn’t have to stop on the way to work.
  57. Get his car washed & vacuumed or do it yourself.
  58. Iron his favorite shirt so it will look that much nicer.
  59. Compliment his body in some way. Weight, eyes, lips, etc.
  60. Sex coupons – Don’t be cheap here. He desires sex more than anything. Get creative.
  61. Encourage him to go out for an evening with the guys.
  62. Thank your husband for choosing you to be his wife.
  63. Tell the kids one of the reasons that you fell in love with their dad, in front of him.
  64. Tell the kids something that dad does for the family that is so special, in front of him.
  65. Let him know a reason that he makes you feel safe. Men want to protect us.
  66. Ask him about a question that relates to his expertise or a hobby of his.
  67. Compliment him for getting a good deal on something, or saving money.
  68. Ask him how you can pray for him.
  69. Tell him all of the reasons that you respect him, not love him.
  70. Hang out with your husband while he is doing a task that serves the family. Such as fixing the car, hanging a light, repairing something, etc.
  71. Go out of your way to take care of him if he is sick. Above & beyond.
  72. Let your husband discipline the children without you second guessing him or going against him.
  73. Say something nice about him to his family & to yours, in front of him.
  74. Tell him you love him - it is amazing how important those three words are!
  75. Invite his best friend (& wife or girlfriend) for dinner. Just his friends, not yours as well.
Aimee Freeman

Friday, January 15, 2010

Where Am I Working From Today??

Wow! That is all I can say. I am SUPER sleepy & I am just getting started on the blog today, at 1:27pm. Where did the day go? I feel like I have wasted a gorgeous 64 degree day & now I am trying to salvage it the best way that I can. So, I decided to clean off the table on the porch, that I told myself I would drink coffee at or eat lunch at every day, four months ago. It was pretty crummy & needed to be cleaned twice. Yuck! What is with this cleaning mood that I am in? I hate cleaning. Anywho. I cleaned the table, fluffed the pillow, reheated my coffee & here I sit. The sun is shining on my screen, which makes it a little hard to type, but the wonderful breeze is just what I need. Here are a few pictures of my "new" office. 

Here is my desk for the day. Cozy!

Here is my view from my office chair. Don't mind the Christmas lights, they are coming down this weekend. Adam did an amazing job & I hate to remove them. Maybe we should leave them up as "party lights". Our house looked like an enchanted castle with them on. It was beautiful!

If I stand on the second recliner chair in the previous photo & zoom in a little, this is my view. Ahhhh. On a good day, we can hear the waves. I think that we need to cut these trees lower so that I don't have to stand on the chair to see the ocean. I think I will talk to the local handyman when he comes back outside. 

Ok, after uploading those photos, I feel like I just want to go walk on the beach. Hmmm. Maybe in an hour when I am done. Maybe I will take a nap on the porch. Too many ideas & I am running out of daylight.

I was so excited yesterday when I received a special comment on my blog. It was from Carla over at So This Is Holland? She gave me the Lemonade Stand Award! Yay! My very first award. I am so excited, blessed, & grateful. This award is given to people that you feel have a great attitude or gratitude through their blogs. I have posted the award on our main page. I am also supposed to pass this award on to 10 others that I feel deserve to receive it. I will put my list together over the weekend & post the results on Monday. This is going to be a tough one because there are WAY more than 10. Thank you Carla for considering me to be a worthy recipient.

I know that I am behind the times, but I work from home, am not around people outside of my family on most days, do not watch the news, & I haven't had the TV on in about a week. Last night, yes, last night I became engrossed in the news about the earthquake in Haiti. Within a few minutes, I found an attachment. A very distant attachment, but an attachment no less. I visited Kelly's Korner, which I do several times a week. She (her blog) was one of the first places that I learned about Compassion International, where we sponsored Neema from. Kelly went on a Compassion trip not too long ago. On that trip was a man named Dan Woolley. Well, to make a long story short, Dan was at the Hotel Montana when the earthquake hit. He was just rescued ALIVE a short time ago. Praise God.

I have been keeping up to date on a Facebook page that many of the friends & family of the missing are using as a life line to information. Warning - it is emotional, gut wrenching, & exciting all at the same time. With posts of survivals & post of deaths. You can feel the desperation of these loved ones.

Kelly had a button posted to make it easier for people to donate to helping the relief efforts in Haiti. I am posting that information as well. Adam & I will be making a small donation, but we wish that we could do more. Fortunately, every little bit adds up. For us, this donation will probably be our weekly tithe that would normally go to our church. We can't imagine what the people in Haiti are going through. Many of these photos have been absolutely horrifying. We are so blessed to be home safe, in our comforts of life, with our families, with power, food, water, etc. How can we NOT give?

Just click on the button to be taken to Compassion's donation page.

Day Thirty - (The last day)

"...This is my beloved, & this is my friend..." (Song of Solomon 5:16b)

Friends can be completely honest with each other, but friendships are strained when truth is not spoken in love. How are you speaking to your beloved? Are you so "used" to him that you don't appreciate the wonder of his friendship? That is your challenge today.

Is your sweetheart your best friend? Does he know this? Have you told him, or do you assume that he "just knows"?

Friendship is something that is cultivated through the good times & the bad. Friends can share their hearts, but they don't step on each other's hearts. 

The way to have & to be a good friend is to cultivate & celebrate the relationship. As you end this 30 Day Challenge, celebrate your friendship with your husband. Get alone & reflect on your beloved friend. Write him a letter, listing the qualities that you admire & appreciate about him. If you are creative with words, write & frame a poem about him. 

Perhaps you can prepare a special meal, just for the two of you, & read the letter or poem to him. Ask if you can pray for him, & if he is willing, thank God for your love & friendship, asking for His blessing on your home. 

Encouragement, as you have seen in the past 30 days, is a synonym for love in action. 

Day Thirty Prayer - 

Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring men who will encourage his accountability before God, & will not lead him into sin. (Proverbs 13:20, 27:17)

PS - It is 3:01 pm, do you think I got a little distracted? LOL

Aimee Freeman

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Do You Feel Abandoned?

Good afternoon my sisters. I am going to have to keep this short today because I am buried in work. I suppose that is a good thing. I also have to read half of my Bible assignment from yesterday, all of today, respond to emails for the ministry, respond to work emails, clean my unbelievably disgusting bathroom, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. LOL

I feel like I am abandoning all of you & it is killing me. I HATE when I can't write the daily message. I at least wanted to send over the challenge so that you all could keep moving forward. I hope that you all forgive me.

I imagine that as real estate picks up, this may happen more often. Or, I just need to get a partner. Hmmm. Actually we have been thinking about that & I have a lunch meeting next week. Someone who can free me up to focus on this ministry & more volunteer/charity work. YES! I am so excited by the thought of it. Please Lord, let this work for all of us.

Day Twenty Nine - 

"A prudent man foresees evil, & hides himself; the simple pass on, & are punished." Proverbs 27:12

As you near the end of this 30 Day Encouragement Challenge, take time to think about your husband's responses to the wickedness of the culture, the media, etc. Does your husband recognize & avoid evil? Does he regularly turn his back on pornography, sexual temptations, & the urge to lie & cheat?

This is a valuable character trait. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, who fled from the wicked advances of Potiphar's wife, this takes an understanding that these kinds of sins are first & foremost, sins against God. (Genesis 39:9)

Praise your husband when he recognizes & turns his back on wickedness. If you can think of a circumstance where your husband stood for righteousness, remind him of that today, & express your gratitude.

Day Twenty Nine Prayer - 

Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit's control. (1 Corinthians 6:12; 10:31; 2 Timothy 2:4)
Aimee Freeman

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So, You Think I Am Strange?

Ok, so yesterday I posted what my office/work space looks like & I asked you all to send me photos so that I can see your spaces. I begged you to not think that I was weird or strange. Well, apparently you all do. LOL We had 1265 vistors from the time that I posted until midnight & I only received ONE photo this morning. Thank you Amy! Here I thought that I would get flooded with emails. Silly me.

I was so super excited when I went to the mailbox yesterday afternoon. We received our first letter from Neema. If you are just now joining us & you don't know who Neema is, you can learn about her HERE. Neema is the little girl from Africa that we are sponsoring through Compassion International. I am very shocked that we received a letter so soon. I know that I am a wimp & I cry pretty easily anyway, but Neema's letter brought me to tears. Here are two pictures that I took so that I could share them with you.

Isn't that such an awesome letter? I know that it is short, but it is plenty. Don't those little drawings just melt your heart? What really did it for me was seeing that she printed her name for us. Neema means so much to us already. We hope that one day we can take a Compassion trip & meet Ms. Neema in person. How amazing would that be? Our family feels so blessed that we are able to help Neema & her family. To know that our actions brought a little piece of happiness to this little girl is priceless. We will be writing back to Neema this weekend. I can hardly wait!

How are you all doing with your reading lessons? I was so busy yesterday & if I am being honest, I didn't get my reading done until 11:45pm. Yikes. I have to say though, I am really enjoying this challenge. I do not feel intimidated at all, which is what I expected. Today, I am blogging & then heading to the couch to do my reading for today. I saw a friend's comment this morning about today's assignment & I am pumped up. I want to be in "the know". What does the Word say for today? What does it mean? Why did it pump up my friend? I can't wait!

I am not the kind of person to share "junk" emails with anyone, much less the world. However, I received an email yesterday from a loyal blog follower. I started to read it & thought to myself, "What am I doing? I hate this stuff!" I was moving my mouse to click on the delete button when something told me to keep going. By the time that I was done reading, I was sobbing at my desk. I think that this email is powerful enough to be today's message. What will you take from it?

Last fall my 9-year-old son, Austin, had his tonsils removed. Before the surgery,
Austin's anesthesiologist came to start an IV. He was wearing a cool surgical cap covered in colorful frogs. Austin loved that "frog hat." The doctor explained that he had two choices.  He could either try to start the IV, or he could wait until Austin was up in the operating room.  In the OR the doctor would give Austin some "goofy" gas, and start the IV when he was more relaxed.

"So, Austin," he asked, "which do you want?" Austin replied, "I'll take the gas." But when the doctor started to leave, Austin called, "Hey, wait." The doctor turned.  Yeah, buddy, what do you need?" Austin asked, "Do you go to church?" "No," the doctor admitted.  "I know I probably should, but I don't." Austin then asked, "Well, are you saved?" Chuckling nervously, the doctor said, "Nope.  But after talking to you, maybe it's something I should consider." Pleased with his response, Austin answered, "Well, you should, 'cause Jesus is great!" "I'm sure He is, little guy," the doctor said, and quickly made his exit.

After that a nurse took me to the waiting room.  Someone would come and get me when Austin's surgery was done.

After about 45 minutes, the anesthesiologist came into the waiting room. He told me the surgery went well and then said, "Mrs. Blessitt, I don't usually come down and talk to the parents after a surgery, but I just had to tell you what your son did." Oh boy, I thought.  What did that little rascal do now? The doctor explained that he'd just put the mask on Austin when my son signaled that he needed to say something.
When the doctor removed the mask,
Austin blurted, "Wait a minute, we have to pray!" The doctor told him to go ahead, and Austin prayed, "Dear Lord, please let all the doctors and nurses have a good day.  And Jesus, please let the doctor with the frog hat get saved and start going to church.  Amen."

The doctor admitted this touched him.  "I was so sure he would pray that his surgery went well," he explained.  "He didn't even mention his surgery.
He prayed for me!  Mrs Blessitt, I had to come down and let you know what a great little guy you have."

A few minutes later a nurse came to take me to post-op.  She had a big smile on her face as we walked to the elevator. "Mrs. Blessitt, I couldn't wait to tell you something exciting that your son did." With a smile, I told her that the doctor already mentioned Austin's prayer. "But there's something you don't know," she said.  "Some of the other nurses and I have been witnessing to and praying for that doctor for a long time.  After your son's surgery, he tracked a few of us down to tell us about Austin's prayer.  He said, " girls, you got me.  If that little boy could pray for me when he was about to have surgery, then I think maybe I need his Jesus too." She then recounted how they joined the doctor as he prayed to receive Christ right there in the hospital.  Wow!  Austin had played a small part in something wonderful.  But then, so did the nurses who prayed and witnessed.

I thought about John's words in his Gospel, "One sows and the other reaps" (John 4:37).

Austin's experience taught me that, although we never know which role we may be called to play, in the end it doesn't matter.  What's important is that we remain faithful in sharing the gospel.

Tina Blessitt, a freelance writer, lives with her husband and four children in

Day Twenty Eight - 

"The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, & before honor is humility." (Proverbs 15:33)

Sometimes, when we just "know" we are right & our husbands are wrong, it takes great humility to honor them. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. 

Pray that your husband will respond to the Lord in faith & humility before you react to your husband. Speak wisely & well, & leave the results to God. 

The humility that comes from a right relationship with God - the humility that comes when a man is willing to listen to God & be taught from His Word - is indeed a beautiful quality. Jesus was an example of this kind of humility when he was willing to submit to His Father's will. (John 6:38; Matthew 26:39)

Does your husband have that kind of humility? Is he willing to learn from & submit to direction from the Lord? Let your husband know how precious this is to your marriage relationship.

Day Twenty Eight Prayer - 

Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek & pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thessalonians 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)
Aimee Freeman

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