Friday, December 4, 2009

Are You Ready?

Hello Ladies. I hope that everyone is having a great day so far today. It's FRIDAY! Woo hoo! Thank you all for putting up with my odd humor yesterday. I am not sure what my deal was. I tickled myself all day with my burger "jokes". LOL I am so thrilled right now. Why? Because I can do laundry! I hate laundry, HOWEVER, we just got our washing machine hooked up after 3 months without it. (It was still in Charlotte because we thought there was a washer & dryer in the garage here when we moved in) We have been wearing the same clothes over & over again. Just kidding. We have been dragging them to the laundry center at the apartment complex that Adam was in when he first moved here. Typically we do about 8 loads of laundry at a time & we wait until EVERYTHING is dirty. Ugh. So, right now, this very moment, I have my first load in. YAY!

I hope that I got you all excited about what we are going to discuss today. Are you on the edge of your seats? Today we are going to talk about acts of service so to speak. Something that will remind you of day 13 of the Love & Respect challenge, only multiplied. It is a little thing called the....

I am going to tell you all  how it came about, but please keep in mind that it's original purpose is not why I am sharing it. I will explain more in a bit.

Adam & I have a friend that like us, is trying to get pregnant. (we will call her Kate) Kate has never been pregnant before so she consulted her friends about what "methods" have worked best for them. For most of us, once we decide that we want to get pregnant, we want it right now. We don't want to wait for months & months of trying. For some, it doesn't even have so much to do with wanting the actual pregnancy to start ASAP, as much as it is that you don't want to have sex that much, month after month. Am I right? Ok, you shouldn't have said yes. I am trying to teach you how important the sex "service" is to our husbands. Ask yourself that question again & say, "That is not true. I love having sex with my husband." Lie if you have to. Train your brain. :) I know it is a process, but I am working on you!

Anywho, this unfortunately was Kate's case. She was having sex with her hubby only about once a month or so. Not really conducive to getting pregnant or a healthy sexual relationship. Luckily, Kate had a friend that suggested the 5-5-5 challenge. What exactly did that entail? Brace yourselves....her friend advised her to have sex 5 days before, 5 days during, & 5 days after ovulation. Now, I have to say that when I first heard about this, I thought that it was absolutely ridiculous.We won't get too graphic here, but many of us know that we aren't fertile for that long of a time span. So, what was the real deal here?

I told you yesterday that what I would speak of today was heavy on my heart & I felt as though I needed to share it. So I am. I hope that you will remain open about the direction that I am going here. I met with Kate yesterday for coffee water coffee. (I am going to start trying to kick my habit this week - LOL) I love getting together with her. She is amazingly funny, we can talk for hours, & she is so "real". The fact that she tells me how much she loves the blog, is sharing it with others & how much it has helped her marriage, doesn't really have anything to do with it. I love getting emails, but to actually see the excitement on someone's face is priceless to me. I have fallen in love with helping all of you & to be blessed to see those emotions surface first hand affects me on a level that I can't describe.

Unfortunately, like Adam & I, Kate received a negative pregnancy test this month & that mean, mean visitor...Aunt Flow. While Kate's news wasn't what she had hoped for, she was still blessed with a gift that has changed her marriage 100%. Remember, Kate was only making love to her husband once a month & now she had fulfilled a deep need of his 15 times in 15 days. She accomplished in one month what would have taken her over a year in the past. Can you imagine what happened to her husband's spirit?


Kate had the most unbelievable look in her eyes yesterday when she was telling me how this 5-5-5 challenge & the 14 day challenge, together brought her marriage back to life. So much so, that they are doing it (no pun intended) again this month. Go Kate!

Now, you are going to face obstacles along the way. I promise you that. Kate told me that when her hubby came home the other night, he was all gross & sweaty from work. He went in to take a shower & "prepare" himself. Over the last few hours Kate had several things go wrong that got her out of the mood. When he was finished & Kate walked into the bedroom, he was laying there waiting for her. She said, "I'm hungry." He said, "I'm horny." He was just trying to remain accountable after all. She felt like she wanted a shower first (Her hubby didn't really care if she showered or not. We care about this WAY more than our husbands do.), to eat first, & to get things around the house done first. (Excuses really) God Bless Kate. She didn't let the devil get in the way of what she set out to accomplish in her marriage. She knew from the previous month how very important this challenge was to her relationship & how God was very much a part of how she learned of the challenge & this blog. She is also accountable to several other women & she couldn't let them down either. They were a team. I am extremely proud of Kate. This is no easy challenge, but keeping a healthy, fulfilled, loving, & respectful marriage is SO worth it! Praise God for doing a 360 on a marriage in just 15 days!

So, what do you say ladies? Who is with me? I hope that every single one of you is raising your hands, jumping out of your chairs, & recruiting your friends to be accountability partners. Many of you aren't worried about when you ovulate & that really shouldn't be what motivates you to start this challenge anyway, so I will make the tough decision of when you should start for you.....tonight! (or today if your husband is lucky) WHEN the going gets tough & you feel that you want to make excuses or give up, email me. Email your accountability partner. She will remind you (so will I), that we are all doing this. You will let us all down if you back out. If the thought of a super great sexual relationship doesn't work for you, I am okay going for the guilt. If you need extra motivation, think of it this way.....Our 15 day challenge will end on the 19-20th of December, depending on when you read this. That is pretty close to Christmas. Are you catching my drift? A happy husband may be much more inclined to buy an extra gift or two. You can send him my address for any gifts that he wants to send my way. LOL

I expect to see the number of followers increase today & tomorrow, not decrease. No running away from this one. We ALL could benefit from this challenge. I wish that you all could have seen Kate's eyes yesterday because you wouldn't be doubting me at all.

Day Four - 

"let him labor, working with his hands what is good...." Eph 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative & positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband & to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world. 

Some women take their husband's career for granted, & they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen & encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values & appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad that he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence & resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc. 

Day Four Prayer - Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship - protecting & providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely & love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Aimee Freeman


Kim said...

oooooooh, boy... this could get interesting!!! :)

TJsMommy said...

15 days straight, huh? Be prepared for 15 emails from me - lol! You know I've followed your blog from Day 1 and have yet to not do a challenge --- but this has got to be the toughest one yet. I know I am making excuses...our work schedules are opposite, the baby is up at least 5 times a night, i get up at 4:30am for work...but excuses or not this challenge is going to be DIFFICULT for me!!! Please keep the encouragement coming, as I am admitting now, I NEED IT!!!!!!!

RyderMakes3 said...

I love this challenge, Aimee! My husband and I are trying to conceive our second baby. Last month was our first month of "trying" and it didn't happen. Before last month, being intimate had become a chore. I made excuses, and I kept telling myself after staying home and taking care of our son all day, it was just too difficult for me to switch from "Mom mode" to "wife mode". The lack of enjoyment and enthusiasm from me when it came to love making had my husband not feeling so great, and it even made him grumpy. But once we started trying to get pregnant and were active day after day, suddenly our whole relationship and our attitudes were improved (I give your blog a lot of credit for that, too!). So again this month, we are trying to conceive, and really enjoying it. At times it can get tedious for both my husband and I, but I try to think of ways to make it special. So I guess without even knowing it, I have been doing the 5-5-5 without even realizing it, and it does truly work wonders!
I pray that you, Kate, me, and all the other woman who are hoping for a positive pregnancy test this month get it, and may all your blog readers' marriages blossom!!

Anonymous said...

What if the husband is the one in the relationship who is not interested in sex? My husband never has had much of a sex drive, and he rarely wants it more than once or twice a month, no matter how much I try to initiate it. And in all our years of marriage, he's only initiated it about 5% of the time. It's a very huge area of sadness for me in our marriage. He has been checked out medically and there's nothing wrong with hormone levels or things like that. He just isn't interested. So a challenge like this (we've tried similar things in the past) just leads to a huge amount of pressure on him as he tries to come up with the ability to perform.

mommyof3 said...

This will be extra difficult since Aunt Flow just arrived!! Not to get too graphic but we may have to delay the beginning of this challenge!

Anonymous said...

like mommyof3 I have to delay this one a few more days ;)

Angie Skaggs said...

Sweet! I am totally up for this challenge!!! I will definitely be starting tonight!

Anonymous said...

I do love the thought of this challenge! But I am 8.5 months pregnant right now with a high risk pregnancy and sex has been out of the question for the last few months, luckily I have been given the "go ahead" but I think that my sex drive is dormant....

Miranda said...

Amy my husband is just like the other lady from a comment above. He is not interested and it is a sad subject for me. I want to cry about it all the time. It is real hard not to take it personal. I have beentrying to loose weight change myself to make him want me. When we do have sex he barely touches me. :(

Anonymous said...

I am like the men they are mentioning. I have no desire and when I know that's what he wants, I feel horribly intimidated and anxious and pressured. The very idea of this challenge has me feeling anxious. are there just some people who aren't given that desire? Should we not get married or have babies? Is sex really the answer to getting our husbands to treat us better?

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that I fall into the "once-a-month" category also.

I have decided to give the 5-5-5 idea a try starting with last night, no details....I promise :), except to say that my husband was floored. I am NEVER the one to initiate sex.

I am very excited to see where this challenge is going to take our marriage relationship. Thanks!


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