Day Five - Repost
Good evening ladies! I know that last night I really laid a lot on you. Some of you may still be emotionally exhausted from the challenges that we were faced with, so tonight I will take it easy on you. From the comments that you have been posting & the emails that I have been getting it sounds like you are all doing a great job! I am so proud of all of you for looking deep into yourselves & accepting that it isn't ALL your husband's fault. That is an excellent step.
Have you ever walked into the bathroom only to find your husband or your son flexing in front of the mirror?
I mean, the guy in the second picture looks like he is going to kiss his bicep! Something tells me that if we could see the photo that was taken next, he did kiss it! Every boy & every man does this. I don't get it & I am sure that most of you don't either.
I haven't caught Brandon doing this yet, he is only 8, but he has started to be concerned about the size of his muscles. I have squeezed his non-existent biceps a few times in the last month. Of course he thinks that they are huge. LOL The first time that he flexed for me, he was so excited. As a loving & supportive mother, I didn't tell him that he had me feeling his shoulder. :) Now don't worry, I am not going to American Idol him & let him sign up for a bodybuilding competition. I will be honest with him when it counts. No need to embarrass the poor little guy.
Now Adam on the other hand is a different story. I am proud to say that I am married to the most gorgeous & eye pleasing man on the planet, but does he really need to see how every muscle looks in the mirror? Yes, he does. It is a man thing that we will never understand. My concern was that Adam was loving his body as much as I was. Adam is the least egotistical person you will ever come across, so I had to ask. I had to put my curiosity to rest.
The topic came up this past week when we were discussing the challenge for tonight. He said that it isn't an egotistical thing. It is the need for feeling strong. That I can wrap my mind around a little better. Now that I know he isn't "in love with himself" maybe I can stop laughing every time I see him do it.
When I was reading the 14 day challenge for the first time, tonight was the night that I personally would have the hardest time with. I was making all kinds of excuses about how uncomfortable this would be to most of us & ways to modify it to help ME. I needed to remember that this isn't about me. This is about making my man feel like a man, a protector. Making him feel as though I desire his body or have "noticed" him in a way that I did before we married. I am EXTREMELY attracted to my husband & this is a challenge. Not because I don't feel it or want to do it. Just because it feels funny to me. Hmm, I am thinking that just sounded disrespectful. This is important to him, so I will do it. Do I have you scared to death right now?
Lesson #5 - Squeeze his muscle & tell him he is strong. (stop laughing, I can hear you) Do not make a big deal about it. Just do it quickly & in passing. Remember, you are not a man & you won't get this. Commenting on his strength is commenting on his manhood. Maybe he has been working out & you can tell him that you are noticing his changes while you squeeze his muscles. If that isn't an option, maybe you could just tell him that you want to feel his strong muscles to see what they feel like. Then you could compliment him. Adam even suggested that you simply ask to see his hands. Tell him that you never realized how strong his hands looked. He says this is something that would mean a lot to him. (Plus it might feel more comfortable for you.) Don't forget, I am doing these challenges too. However, I am at a disadvantage because Adam knows what each day calls for. I have to be extra sly & sincere so he knows that it isn't just a task. See, you guys have it easy. Don't make excuses, just do it!
Maybe thinking about it this way will help you a bit. When we get dressed up or our daughters get dressed up we want our husbands to acknowledge how pretty we are. That is because we have a feminine need. Most of our husbands could throw on wrinkled clothes from the floor that smell & have dog hair on them. They won't care. Just as long as their muscles look good! LOL
So go ahead, squeeze it. I bet he will flex.
"Lord, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to show my husband how much he means to me. He is our families protector & I appreciate & respect him so much for that. Lord, please help me through tonight's challenge. It feels odd & unnatural to me but I know that it is important to my husband. Please help me complete this task with sincerity & without laughing. I know that will only cause more harm than good. Amen."
2 years ago